Ich Liebe Dich

A picture speaks a thousand feelings
A picture speaks a thousand memories

A picture speaks a thousand stories

Chinese Chess

Two days ago, i lost to a pretty gal in chinese chess which is quite unheard of. I wonder why? It must be her beauty that had distracted my thoughts :) that's all. I have nothing else to say.

PS: not my fault that thi s entry is so short n dull. It is because the owner of this blog is currently retarded n has no clue on wad to write. muahhaha

Time

Time time time. It has been a while but now is about a good time to do some retrospection and do some self-feedback exercise.

PROGRAMME NAME: ReTr05P3Ct10N
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STATUS: INITIATING IN 3...2...1...0
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For a start, I hate to say this, but I might have just hit the nail into the coffin when I chose to major in Chemical Engineering. Feeling like an idiot is the least that I feel when I enter the LT. Then again though, me being me, I wonder why I am not doing well. I mean, as much as I am faring badly in my studies, I believe that those people who are supposedly in the 'higher-ups' are as ordinary as ordinary can be. It is not like they are some robots with some advanced 'brain-processor' of 'inter-cranium dual lobe' or something. So, why is it that they score better than me ?
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E.T.A: 10 mins, 55 secs
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Them being cleverer than me ? Once again, I hate to say this but I believe that possibility to be 0%. Geez, I guess I have my 'narcissistic-programme' running now.

Not to discredit any geniuses out there, but I simply don't buy that concept of some people being born better than others. Come on, everybody is born with the hardware called 'brain-ware' wired into them, albeit they are of different brands. Nonetheless though, as much as you can be born different as compared to your peers, it is what you do that will ultimately be the primary driving force that will shape your future. I don't believe in a pre-determined future as though my life involves some calculus equation that says I'll die a rich miser or a generous beggar run by programme 'X++'.
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E.T.A: 5 mins, 11 secs
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Maybe they are more hardworking than me because they have installed the latest softwares that allow them to work efficiently. Then again, bearing in mind that I believe I can do everything(pardon the 'narcissist' programme running in my 'cranium-top'), I don't see why I can't achieve what they achieved.

As such, I have to make a resolution. I had better install a software called 'Study-0,Score-5' to prove to myself that the muggers in school are wasting time glueing their eyes to their notes, to prove that I am still better than them and that time is better spent upgrading myself from 'inter-cranium dual, triple or whatever lobe for that matter' to the latest invention called ' human.'
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E.T.A: 10 secs
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RESULTS: STRESS - 0.00015%,
NARCISSISTIC - 0.00027%,
PRIDE - 0.00019%,
STUBBORN - 0.00031%,
_+_______________________
SCREWED - 100%

Dead blog

Boo!

Isn't it time to officially announce the demise of your blog ? =)

Hmmm, or are you going to let it collect dust ? Or perhaps, you are still going to update it ?

Hmmm...

Curious

I am curious.

Curious because I purposely left the previous post unannounced, wondering how long it will take for you to read it, if you even happen to come by at all!

Well, that was fast though, I expected something like a week or a few months or so. =)

Buy hey! This shows that someone is reading this blog!

Don't you know that this blog is supposed to collect dust?!!

Geez, you must be so free that you can come by to visit some outdated blog. Come on, go make full use of your time. Go do something. Do some sports, some shopping. The internet is just a deceptive tool that lulls you into thinking that you are making full use of your time! (I am one of its victims, but I'll sooner die than admit it)

Still reading?

Move your lazy ass, tear your glued eyes away from the screen!

=)

Happy Birthday to ....

Ismi!

Hey the spelling is still wrong! And I am not going to change it.

Lets see, it is 10 minutes before 15th of August here. On the other side of the world though, it is 12 hours and 10 minutes away. So, it got me wondering. How long can your birthday last? I am no math genius you see, so I will give my best bet at 48 hours.

For you though, it lasts for 36 hours. Well it is not as long as 48 hours but hey, it is one and a half days already. Long enough? =)

In any case, you wouldn't know that you are having a 36 hours birthday. So, enjoy your 24 hours worth of birthday celebration over there because, hey! You've just gotten older by another year!

Tsktsktsktsk. Enjoy the last few days over there because you will definitely miss it! Don't bother about rest because you can catch up on it after you are back in little boring Singapore. No matter how accustomed you have become over the past 3 months, you will still feel melancholic in the future when you recall the past in retrospect. =)

Stay childish. Stay young. Have fun.
Take care 'pretty me.'

p.s. by the way, consider this a birthday gift! ;)
(I am in rather dire financial straits!)

HI!!!!!

Ismi.....

hey look at that! i think it looks wrong!! ;).....

hi Ismi....this is the latest updated blog...=)

Gonong Arong

Wow... Yea wow... It has actually been one-and-a-half weeks since I went down to Gonong Arong. And here I am now, finally writing about my experience albeit, one-and-a-half weeks late. I've been busy. I've been busy spending money that is. Well I am sure there is nothing wrong with indulging in the art of money-splurging once in a while. Fingers-crossed, I hereby solemnly swear to God(if there is even one at all) that I shall stop my shopping spree.

Anyway, back to my trekking experience, my friend whos is in ODAC called me at night before the actual day to ask me if I was interested in going down to recce with them. Apparently one of her recce team members couldn't make it. I thought, 'sure, sounds cool!' and that is what started my short trip to Malaysia.

I will have to say that the travelling time on its own is more tiring than the actual trek. Ok, I am exaggerating, but you know, it was a 3 hour trip from the immigration centre in JB to wherever we were trekking back then. So to and fro, that was a total of 6 hours. Hell man, boredom stretches your patience and I am no patient man. To top it up, the bus ride there was in a bus with air conditioning that works like a heater. Yes, we were sweating crazy before we even started the trek.

To cut long story short though, we eventually reached the house of our tour guide, not before getting scammed by some crafty old taxi driver. Yes, to cut the long story short, I wouldn't elaborate on that sly trickster. We met the nice lady who provided us with two young escorts as our guides and we are off on our way!

First thing that I noticed as we began our ascent up the Gonong(I've no idea why they spell it gonong instead of gunung as they do in Indonesia) is the sheer steepness of the slope that we have to climb. You have got to wear something with good traction lest you want to risk hurting yourself there. What is even better though, is that there is only one single walkable route that is at times surrounded by trees and at other times by nothing save for a long jump down to the ground beneath. 'So what ?' you might think but as we reach up above some ten twenty metres, you realise that you are walking on a solitary path and there is no going back, only forward. A wrong step to your right or left will throw you off balance and if you are unfortunate enough, it will be 'sayonara my friend, I'll see you at the bottom of the hill.'

It took us about an hour to reach the peak. We had a good workout, working out quite some amount of sweat but the scenery was in all honesty, worth the trek up. Standing at the peak of Gonong Arong looking down at the beach and nearby islands, that was a breathtaking scene. All along you went up the hill surrounded by endless rows of trees and suddenly there was a clearing and you are able to have a good view around. That experience was fulfiling. it was wonderful. You will feel the satisfaction of having gone so far to immerse yourself in mother nature, to feel her arms close around you in a warm welcoming hug.

And so the time came for the trek down. The thing with everyone is this - when you have tasted sweetness, there is no way you will want to go back and invite that bitter taste to your tongue. Same thing here, the trek down was as treacherous as it was arduous, the main obstacle being the unpredictable terrain as well as the steep slope downwards. You can instantly lose your footing and fall down. Trust me, if accidents happen at all, they will happen more on the trek down rather than up the hill. A few of us fell. Nothing serious though. After another hour, we were all exhausted and the thing that kept us going was the thought of reaching the end point and finally back home. We came out by the beach and it was alright. Quite neat, quite cool.

Phew! And that is it! We finished our trek!

And once again, to cut the long story short, suffice to say that we eventually managed to reach singapore at about an hour or so before midnight, effectively missing the finale of the English Premier League.

Just a short summary of what went on in between though, another money-sucking taxi driver and an uncomfortable 3 hour ride back to customs, a bunch of kiasu people rushing to get back home pushing and squeezing each other in the customs as well as bus and of course, missing the last train home.

For all that it is worth though, I had fun back then. It was a great trek and a good recce.

White.....Black

All was White.

"Huh ?"

The man tried to make sense of it all but to no avail.

"Where am I ?"

All around was white. White is all there ever was and all there ever is. In the middle of it all is a solitary figure suspended in eternal darkness born out of the blanket of 'White'.

"What is going on ?"

He panicked.

He turned. He twisted. He ran. He ran on the spot. He flailed his arms against some unseen assailant but all around him was absolute whiteness, so pure so bright it hurt.

He felt nothing, heard nothing. He does not tire from running but he knew pain. He felt tormented engulfed in a sea of 'White'.

Then he opened his eyes. Then he awoke.

The sight before him was dull but he squinted his eyes and grimaced against its brightness. A cliff lay before him and beyond, the sea melted away into the horizon where the last glimmer of the sun's rays is beginning to fade away. He was standing in a lush meadow by the cliff, surrounded by verdant trees, beautiful flowers and blades of grass.

He saw the blades of grass rustle and the leaves sway as though pulled on by some unseen forces.

"How ?"

Somewhere a voice answered from inside his head.

"The wind."

Instinct tells him he is right but counter-intuitively, he refuses to accept the answer.

"Why ?"

He turned. He twisted. He saw. Leaves are swirling in the air. One lightly glided past his face and another flew straight into a wall that was his shirt. He looked down and saw his shirt swaying in the breeze as well yet he doubted the wind.

"Why ?"

He felt nothing. Strangely, he felt nothing.

He tried to make sense of it all but to no avail.

His attention turns to the rapidly vanishing rays of light at the horizon and he squinted, trying to gather what is going on. The allure of the last rays of the setting sun drew him on. He took a step, two and continued until the edge of the cliff. The sun is setting and all around it was getting dark, quickly.

As the very last vestiges of the sun's rays are swallowed by the impending darknes, the man closed his eyes and took a final step into the Black.

There was silence. All around was pitch black.

He felt nothing, heard nothing.

All around was black. Black is all there ever was and all there ever is. In the middle of it all is a solitary figure floating in the brilliance of the Black. He felt at peace.

"I am going to wake up."

All was Black.

Back and Then Again – 4 months in the making

It has been a long time since I last wrote anything at all...

It was months ago when I last logged an entry, but of all time, why start now?

Let’s just say writing is therapeutic for me and above all else, it is of utmost importance that I keep my communication skills intact. Now that I am on holiday and finally have the time to indulge in some authoring, I should make good use of time.

As a start, perhaps I should just introduce this blog again and all of its contents, after all, my blog is non-personal as much as it is personal. We live in a world of paradoxes and this is but one of them. Whatever I write here are definitely my own work and opinion but against the trend of other blogs, readers will barely find any traces of my life here of all places. I write to express. So what I mean by this blog being ‘non-personal as much as it is personal’ is this; whatever is covered in this blog will relate to my psychological existence more than the physical experience. There is no clear line which separates the two, especially since both the mind and body are linked and what I think would have to be caused by a physical experience before I even think about it, but just to reiterate, I am more concerned about expressing what is on my mind more than simply recounting the incident.

After five months I guess it is best to recollect and introspect whatever happened in this period of time. Aside from my fantastic albeit short trip to Perth, my life these past five months revolves around National University of Singapore (NUS).

Up until now, I have finished my first semester of a new phase in life and I guess I am still struggling to cope, making adjustments here and there. Here is the list of the adjustments that I have had to make:
1. Getting used to calling a 9 metre-square room my house.
2. Getting used to the bell-curve system in tabulating results.
3. Getting used to my new found freedom (the freedom to be an asshole or an angel).
4. Getting used to what it really means to be an engineer and of all cases, a chemical engineer in NUS.

Of all these adjustments, the one that I am concerned with are the last two. Freedom has always been a confusing word which is yet another paradox of this world. If we champion freedom that much, one can only wonder why there are laws at all. That though, is not my concern for now, for all I care, I actually believe the world would be better off in a chaotic system. It would be quite interesting to see people fight among themselves using the word ‘freedom’. Back to my UNI experience though, freedom is truly something that is new and I am still exploring its boundaries, putting one paw forward but always wary and vigilant, because a fall here would be costly, more than I can afford.

The best thing about UNI for me is the many windows of opportunities that it offers. If there is any one thing that you want to learn other than your academic pursuits, UNI is the best place to do it. The various clubs that you can join is something. While you will be spoilt for choices, there is no denying that at least one of these clubs will attract your interest and provide a chance to learn something new, whether it is a skill or knowledge.

UNI for me is the last bastion before I have to discard all my childish innocence and behaviours in exchange for a solemn demeanour taken by working adults. Thus, it is an experience that is worth savouring. Test new stuff, do all sorts of stuff. Be an asshole, throw your books aside and let the devil in you manifest. Considering that there are no discipline masters around and you are accountable for your own actions, UNI is the best time to skip classes and let yourself enjoy being ‘above’ the law for once.

UNI is the last place where you can experience and experiment with new stuff and of all places, UNI is definitely not a place for you to study. As much as a degree matters, frankly speaking it is just a slip of paper. If your life is all about books and dollars, sure go ahead and study your life away. It is your choice after all. For those who believe that life is more than about earning big bucks, that life is about having a goal, that life is worth enjoying outside work, UNI is a place for you to have fun. At this juncture though, I guess I have to state that considering that there is a spectrum of people of all walks of life from the nerds to the bastards in UNI, while you can play hard, you have to study hard as well to earn your keep in this institution.

Thus far, I am still trying to throw my books aside, but still, competition is tough in chemical engineering I guess so while I still can enjoy life in my first year, I should try to be as much of an asshole as possible before the chance runs out and before I know, I am out of UNI, expelled into the working world.

Being in a competitive course is something that I have never really thought about. Even my choice of course was random and uninformed and at best, I can only say that I chose chemical engineering because I can. I guess that is the most difficult thing for me in UNI – balancing my time. Considering that I am an ‘engineer’ I should be more interested in scientific stuff. To the contrary though, I realise that the module I like best is the Arts language module French 1.

Now that I am inside though, there is no getting out. There is no point aiming to be the best because I have no intention to further my academic pursuits. I am more concerned about adding value to my life in terms of the skills that I can learn. After little thought but decisively supportive of what I want, I have decided that I would just hit the minimum grade allowable and have fun outside my studies.

Entering UNI has changed the way I think, especially about the structure of your life in the future. While a year ago I thought that everybody would graduate and end up working one way or another, now I believe that there are better things to do than work your way to your death. You have a life, make good use of it and do something special instead of taking the same old route taken by everyone else. After all isn’t variety is the spice of life?
Find a meaning in what you do and most of all enjoy it.

Indonesia (watching STARDUT, a variant of MAMAMIA)
28/12/07

The Science of The SECRET

One is an elaborately designed book with an elegant imprint of a wax seal printed on the cover, giving an impression of sacredness. The other is a simple book with a plain cover bearing the title of the book as well as the author’s name against a background of solid gold pieces with a small image of gold coins stacked on top of each other at the bottom right corner.

After a long wait, I’ve finally finished reading both books since I first bought them almost 4 months ago. Anyway, the titles are The Secret and The Science of Getting Rich. Naturally though, this self-help category is not my kind of book but well I chanced upon an offer 4 months ago, selling these 2 books as a bundle and based on my friend’s recommendation and what I gathered going around in the news back then, the books are worth my money. To be exact though, the first time I bought the ‘bundle’, I’ve never heard of the latter. The Secret literally overshadowed its counterpart I guess and all my focus was initially riveted to the more elaborate book. Even until a week ago before I started reading The Science of Getting Rich, all my attention was still entrenched with The Secret.

Just this evening after I finished The Science of Getting Rich, a word floated to the surface of my consciousness and unexpectedly, the word is ‘plagiarism’. Considering that I first read The Secret before The Science of Getting Rich, I might have been affected by the new information still fresh in my head and thus, it is more than possible that I coin theories that are only slightly similar as synonymous and one. At this point, I am quite aware that whatever I’ve written is vague at best and you are wondering which author is copying who. Now, I’ll add in a piece of information – the author of The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace D. Wattles died almost a century ago.

If he was still alive, it would be more than tempting to assume that Wallace would have sued Rhonda Brynes. Then again though, I would concede to the fact that while their contents are by far and large similar, their methods of expressing their ideas are more suited to their respective eras. The Secret wouldn’t fit in Wallace’s era as much as Wallace’s masterpiece is no longer attractive in our milieu. In fact, Wallace’s book has an obvious and uncovered deference to Jesus or the presence of a God. The Secret though is a watered down version. You will still get the feeling that the author is trying to preach religion but Rhonda is aware that there are people like the atheists as well and minimal reference to God is made. The best part of it all is that she is aware that God is relative to everyone. Even an atheist can have a God called Reason.

As for the contents, both books pretty much contain the same basic principles that are perhaps decorated with different examples. What is different between the two is the relevance with which the books are written. While one is more concerned with amassing riches, the other is more all-rounded, encompassing the different aspects of life such as health, relationships, jobs.

So what exactly is the content? In my own words, against the ‘Like Theory’ of the two books, I will call it – be positively positive. And as I would say, ‘I am not a pessimist, just an opportunist. Not an optimist, but a pragmatist’. No matter what the situation, life still goes on. Have a goal in life, have faith in yourself and everything else will take care of itself.

Having a goal is important because it is like the captain of the ship. Your goal sets the next destination of your ship, it determines what you are going to do. A goal though need not be too complicated or long-term. A simple short-term goal will suffice. A house is not built overnight; it is built over months, years with phases being completed one after another, slowly but surely. You can only do what you can today, not in the past or in the future. You might plan for the future, but what if the future never comes? Do with your best what you do today to build a better tomorrow, instead of doing what you do today to fit into the future that you dream for it might not manifest itself.

Have faith in yourself, because your potential is endless. If you have tried your best and the outcome is far worse than your expectation, can you really call that your best? Your best is not a quantity, it is a window of endless possibilities. Your best is being the best.

All in all though, the ideas provided by both books are useful for everyone. However, neither book should be strictly taken as a guide to life for each person will eventually have to find his/her own way. Sure ideas are there for you to learn and adopt, but you are a character of your own. Choose only principles which are aligned with your nature. Do not try to mould a new you trying to fit 100% with the book because there really is no one panacea. There is no one-size fits all approach. Take the two authors featured here as an example. They used the same principles but each expressed them slightly different from each other. You can have the same theory of life but interpretations will vary widely from one person to another.

The two books are worth the money but only if they are read and compared with. Only through comparison can you understand the different perspectives that people have over the similar theory. In fact, it would be best to read other books of the topic by other authors to compare their different perspectives. Then again, there is no point to be obsessed over a simple theory. The best thing that you can do for yourself, is to know what is best for yourself. Right?


Indonesia, watching MAMAMIA
27/12/07