'When is father's day?'

There is one phrase which never fails to irk me.

'You take after your father.'

You know really, considering that I am such a bull-headed and stubborn idiot, about every single phrase will receive protests from me, but this one is special. Why? Because personally I don't believe that behaviour can be inherited. I support the idea of us being shaped by our surroundings but never through our genes.

Despite that adamant insistence that I am never going to be like my parents, either one of them for that matter, I am still surprised, albeit unpleasantly, when little by little I realise that we do share some unmistakably similar traits. I've spent enough time arguing with my dad and in that process I've observed just how alike our temperaments are, how similar is the logic, the line of thinking that we follow that I can't help but smile resignedly to my fate and agree that, even though I have lived the better half of my life away from them, I am still a leaf from the same old book.

To list a few similarities, he is a stubborn old mule as much as I am. Both of us are people who want things to go our way and are against people doing things in a different manner (even though the end result is the same). We are receptive only to our own ideas, ignorantly believing that we are always right. Its like believing that there is only one and only ONE ultimate answer to every problem. Then, there is how we are pretty much against change. If possible, we would never want to leave our comfort zone and initiate a change that requires a whole new way of understanding. So to speak, that is just the beginning, there is a list of other amazing traits that we share (I am pretty much against using the phrase 'traits that I inherited'. See, I still believe that my personal character is not inherited. =)).

Nonetheless, despite the list of similarities that ironically sets us apart, he is still my father. I have always wondered what is that tie that binds us as father and son. Considering that I spent most of my time living away from him, to say that I am emotionally attached to him is not even near the target. Is it because he supports me? If so, what if some other old man who is not related to me provide for my needs, schooling, clothes, everything. Does that qualify him as my father?

Then again, that is just a 'what if' scenario. I am not about to worry about something that is not going to happen.

Father's Day falls on this coming Sunday. Personally I have noticed that this day of tribute to patriarchs receive very much less attention than that of their counterparts - the mothers. But it does not lessen its importance or make me forget the event (for example, my dad went, 'when is father's day?' when I wished mom happy mother's day. OK lets be honest, father's day was never on my mind until he reminded me).

My dad has been pretty much a silent and enigmatic figure in the family, a trait that I share (once again, I don't want to use inherited). But, considering the tumultuous and soap-opera like family history that he had, its quite apparent that he had gone through a lot of difficult times. Back then, his commitment and dutiful obligation to his role as the eldest son and a newly-wed husband pretty much left him torn between two families - the traditional conservative family where he had to work hard for his siblings and the new family that he was trying to care for as head of the household. Now, as the breadwinner of the family, he is still struggling between funding his children abroad and getting himself a comfortable life.

To me, I have a special father. A conservative-minded asshole(oops) who never give up in spite of the bad times he had gone through because he has a job to do, an obligation to fulfil and a promise to keep. He is a brave and courageous soul who fills into his role as a father with conviction, seeking only to give his children the very best without seeking anything in return (save for good results and a promise to go back to Indonesia?).

Whether his efforts are out of love or because he is bound by traditional values, I do not know, but it does not matter because he deserves and has my respect (although he sure as hell irritates and annoys me at times).

I do not know how much experience other fathers might have and truly it isn't my problem to know, but I believe every family out there has a special father with his own story to tell and for someone who tries to live up to his role as the person who supports and protects the family, they deserve praise.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, lets all bow down in respect for all the fathers on this planet who have shed blood and sweat to keep the family going.